Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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