i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Randomize
