He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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