We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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