is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
