She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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