Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
