SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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