my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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