i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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