so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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