i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So squirting runs in the family.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
did you just send me my own nude
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
