she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I looked at my own cervix.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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