yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
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He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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