i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She bit a glass in half.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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