I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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