Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
