she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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