Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
