went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
