Just fell off a train. Bad.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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