How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
