Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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