I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize