I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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