I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
