you guys were way drunker than both of me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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