Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
