You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
