First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
