yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
