so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
