kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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