just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I want is dick and wine.
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