i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
