I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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