i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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