No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
