Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
