Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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