What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
