I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
