Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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