I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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