Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
