after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
