ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think I just sharted jello shots
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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