"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
