I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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