We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
