I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
