I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
