I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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