She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
