In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
