this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
