Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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