OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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