Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
