I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize