She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this just has baby written all over it
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
