look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
