he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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