Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
