Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
