Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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