he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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