6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Randomize
