WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
