corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
