Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
